afraid to

afraid to

What do you do when the drugs

Stop working

Comparing tastes on dirty floors

Deploring my condition

Subtract from addition

Equating minute ventilation

Fear, always fears, tidal

look at me through

bullet hole lens

shudder, shimmy, shake

do a little dance, make that face

you know which one

the look you cannot fake

steak a claim here, sure

just know mining coal

is dangerous.

black hearts and black aces

never be this high again

glue ill fitting piece

onto patchwork soul

tributaries take us downstream

starting to feel like worthless,

worth less than

I get tired of tryin’

you become weary of hearing

but damn, this hurts

legitimacy begins to feel

illegitimate.

I run out of ways to say

HELP

what do you do when the drugs

stop working

I’m not sure.

I am afraid of answers,

I’m afraid of questions,

afraid of you

afraid of me

afraid of ignorance

afraid of knowing

afraid to see….

I am AFRAID

to find out.

i am afraid i have doubts
about whether or not
i know the truth
i am afraid, i already understand
so now, you know
you can be afraid
two two five

image courtesy of Pinterest

5 thoughts on “afraid to

  1. I’ve loved your work (and everything else at Sudden Denoument for that matter) for quite some time. I started to peruse through again after taking home an assignment to memorize someone else’s poem – yours came to mind if I can wrangle that clusterfuck dogshow of brain cells together again remembers how to remember. Thanks for consistently writing man, it’s always nice to see your work and try to appreciate the wonky depths to it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I cannot express how much this comment means to me. I honestly write because I have to, but when I throw it out into the universe and someone lets me know that my words speak to them, it’s just a wow/zen moment for me. Thank you , thank you, thank you. I really appreciate and enjoy your work as well!

      Like

      1. Glad to give a zen moment or two – karmic balance for all the chaos I bring. Seriously though, the stuff through Sudden Denoument has been kind of the gold standard I aspire to live up to. Since actually going back to school to try and repair this skull meat I feel like I’m getting closer, may actually submit something someday. Until then I sit in the eaves and just enjoy the show. Keep it up man.

        Liked by 1 person

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